It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
