this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
