Nicole vs. Life
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My liver just had a heart attack.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
