nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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