that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
