I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
grandma shit on top of the toilet
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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