I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
