My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
