Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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