I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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