I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
