the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
