just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
