Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
either way he was missing a nipple.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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