Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I need to sanitize my soul.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
