This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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