normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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