OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
