We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
