is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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