It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
