Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
