I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
