Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
