dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
