You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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