we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
