white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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