We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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