Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
