Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
