update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
