i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
