Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Randomize
