She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
