Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
