I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
