hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
