I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
