I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
