PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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