just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
