I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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