just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
