I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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