Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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