That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
