I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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