god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
