Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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