She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
