I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
