This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
