I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
