Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
